


Lonely Together

by Reyanth



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 18:03:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18744253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyanth/pseuds/Reyanth
Summary: Irvine has lived all alone with his menories, while Squall has lived live apart. If they have to be lonely, it may as well be together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Re-posting an old one from AFF.net.

Irvine fought his way through the Training Area. He had an inkling as to where Squall might be, and his suspicions were confirmed as he entered the Secret Area. He noted immediately that it was unusually empty, and then he identified the reason, laying eyes on Squall's expression.

The commander of Balamb Garden had taken to either wallowing in his dorm, or brooding around the facilities since his promotion. It was obvious to anyone in their group that their leader was having trouble coping with his responsibility, although he’d never admit it, and especially not to himself. As he approached, Irvine noted the slight stiffening of Squall’s shoulders, indicating that he sensed the new presence in the area.

“Squall,” he greeted, leaning alongside his friend on the balcony. It had been several hours since they’d left Trabia Garden, and the sharp shooter had finally gotten up the courage to address what was on his mind. There was no answer to his greeting, but that was only expected. After studying Squall’s stoic profile for a moment, he continued.

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” The commander gave a brief nod, still staring dead ahead. “There’s something else I remembered about the orphanage; something I didn’t want to bring up in front of the others.”

Having said everything he’d planned to, Irvine waited for some sign that he should continue. After a prolonged moment, he received his sign in the form of an impassive glance, except for one tiny flicker of emotion. That instant could have portrayed anything from anger, to fear, to triumph, but even the smallest sign of emotional interest form Squall was enough to spur Irvine on.

“I’m not sure if you already remember… Still, I like to talk things through. It helps to sort the facts,” Irvine babbled.

“You’re procrastinating,” was Squall’s curt observation.

“Right, well, uh, after Ellone was taken, you became very…lonely.” He struggled to put his thoughts into words. “I used to like to watch everyone. Selphie didn’t seem to mind much of anything. Even back then, she was so full of life. Seifer continued to be his usual jerk of a self, and thanks to him, Zell was just as miserable as ever. Quistis, of course, kept trying to imitate Ellone and mother-hen you. You were the only one who seemed so deeply affected by the loss of your family…” As he spoke, Irvine had taken to gazing at the teen commander, although he was unaware of doing so. “You were so lonely,” he whispered. “Even as a child, I understood that.”

“Sharp shooters are loners by nature,” Squall intoned softly in remembrance, meeting his friend’s eyes evenly.

Nodding gradually, Irvine steeled himself for the next part of his confession. “I watched, and I saw how you isolated yourself, and yet, I didn’t do anything to comfort you. I was too young to understand either your feelings or my own, only that we were lonely...but now I do understand, and this time I won’t let you suffer alone.”

He reached out slowly, tracing a finger down the scar that cut across Squall’s face, breaking through otherwise smooth skin. His fingers curled to cup the commander’s cheek, even as his mind registered the look on Squall’s features as priceless. Part shock, part confusion, part hope, and part fear. That was a tall order for someone usually so devoid of expression.

“I’ve had it with loneliness, and I bet that for all your brave front, you have too.” Leaning in close, Irvine whispered one last comment before claiming his commander’s lips in a soft kiss. “Sharp shooters are loners by nature, but even the savage hunter may stop and admire a lion’s majesty…and I’m no hunter.”

*

Letting his eyes fall closed, Squall tilted his head further back and wrapped his arms around Irvine’s waist. Even as he did so, doubts, warnings, recriminations, and regulations crowded his mind.

Despite it all, and in spite of the knowledge that he'd never considered anything of the sort with Irvine before, Squall let his mouth fall open to the tongue seeking entrance. The foreign sensation of Irvine’s tongue sliding against his own caused his thoughts to calm for a brief repose. He savored the taste of another person, the teeth scraping awkwardly against his own, the loose strands of autumn brown hair that caressed his cheek and eyelashes...

Eventually, his better senses caught up with his questionable judgment, reminding him who he was, who he was kissing, and a thousand reasons as to why that was bad. He pulled away abruptly, crossing his arms over his waist in a defensive manuever. He wanted to voice his concerns, and thought desperately for something to say, but in the end, only one comment escaped him.

*

Irvine knew that this must be new for Squall. He knew that the teen had always avoided emotional attachment, and, likely, physicality; so when the commander tried to pull away, Irvine let him, patiently waiting for the unreadable internal monologue to come to an end.

Finally, a look of shame crossed Squall’s face, and he cast his eyes to the ground, a light blush coloring his cheeks. “I’m no lion,” he said miserably.

Irvine leaned back against the balcony and regarded Squall from under the brim of his hat. “You know, you’re the only one who doesn’t believe in you.”

“And wouldn’t I be more likely to know!?” Squall snapped, his initial shy embarrassment turning to exasperation in a breath.

Taken aback by the sudden outburst, Irvine inwardly cheered to see the open, unguarded expression, even if it was one of anguish. For the first time since he’d seen a little boy outside in the rain crying for his lost sister, Irvine saw Squall for himselfーnot the dutiful student, not the dedicated soldier, not the over -burdened commander, but the confused teenager.

*

Squall was so angry. Somehow, Irvine had managed to tear his guard down with that kiss, and the floodgates were open. He was ranting, and he knew it, yet the words were automatic and he seemed to be watching himself from the sidelines, unable to stem the flow.

“I’m so sick of this! ‘You can do it, Squall!’ ‘We have faith in you!’ ‘I don’t know what to do so I’ll lump a whole garden on one barely graduated SeeD. It’s okay. It’s Squall!’”

Belatedly noticing Irvine trembling with suppressed laughter, Squall placed his hands on his hips and glared pointedly at the Galbadian Sniper. “Something amusing?” he snarled.

This only caused a sharp peal of laughter to ring unchecked before Irvine hastily covered his mouth and attempted to regain his composure. Growling, Squall turned on his heel and began to walk away. He was stopped by a hand grasping his own.

“I’m sorry, Squall,” Irvine said seriously, in control once more. “It’s just that I’ve never heard you so…sarcastic. It’s a refreshing change,” he added with a smirk. “Now… Since we’re finally getting somewhere, come and talk with me. Tell me what’s on your mind.”  
Looking into Irvine’s eyes, Squall nodded. It was becoming clear to him that sooner or later he needed to air his thoughts, and it may as well be sooner, under controlled circumstances, than later by means of another furious outburst.

Irvine pulled him down to sit against the balcony. Still holding onto his hand, the Galbadian brushed away a lock of hair from Squall’s eyes. “It’s about time you started voicing your thoughts. I don’t know what Headmaster Cid could possibly have been thinking, but you can’t cope with all of this alone. Everyone’s worried about you, Squall. Surely you know that.”

Squall nodded. “I do.”

“Good, now let’s try longer sentences,” Irvine prompted.

“I do know that.” Despite himself, Squall felt a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth in answer to Irvine’s grin.

“Better.”

“I do know that,” Squall said again, staring fixedly at the ground, and reminding himself of his duties. “But I don’t want them to be worried about me. Everyone has their own problems, including you. I don’t want to be a burden, not when I’m meant to be helping everyone else.”

“Right now, you are my problem,” Irvine muttered, running his thumb over the back of Squall’s hand. “Forget everyone else. Think of yourself for a change.”

“Irvine…” Squall wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know what Irvine wanted him to say. “I’m just not good at this talking thing.” He tried to pull away again, but Irvine wouldn’t let him.

“Then don’t talk.” Not giving in, the sharp shooter wrapped his arms around Squall’s waist, pulling the commander back against his chest and simply holding him. “Just…don’t leave. I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with you.”

Feeling somewhat uncomfortable, Squall rested back against Irvine. At first, he felt odd and tried to hold back his breathing or still his body as completely as possible. He wasn’t used to contact like this, and although he trusted Irvine, he didn’t quite trust himself.

“Relax,” Irvine sighed. “There are no rules here; just relax.”

Nodding, Squall let out a sigh of his own and closed his eyes, finally letting his weight rest against Irvine. Though he stiffened when he realized this, the silence continued and he felt no resistance. Eventually, he let his body relax again, and his mind followed.

The few times Squall had let his mind wander like this, he’d found that his thoughts tended to be rather random. The present was no different.

“I’ve never seen you with your hair down,” he told Irvine after a while.

“Oh? Would you like to?”

The Galbadian’s smirk could be heard in his voice, and Squall almost rolled his eyes. Though, after considering for a moment, he turned and nodded, holding his breath as Irvine pulled off his hat and tugged out the tie holding back his auburn locks.

The effect made an immediate difference. Though he was usually attractive, Irvine suddenly looked stunning, his indigo gaze peeking out through stray strands of sunlit autumn.

Squall lifted a lock between his fingers, examining the silken texture. He looked up into Irvine’s eyes, biting his lip. Why was he acting like this? Like some love struck…teenager?

*

The change that had come over Squall was obvious. He was blushing softly, talking freely, and allowing himself actions without contemplating precision or consequence. Perhaps it was the faint tinge over his cheeks, but Squall suddenly seemed to have come to life, and Irvine’s breath hitched in his throat.

He let it out slowly, hearing it tremble. Then, without taking the time to think about it, he closed the distance between them and gently pressed his lips to Squall’s again for the span of a few seconds. Then, he pulled away, frozen with the fear of screwing up.

He hadn’t been sure whether Squall would reciprocate again or kill him, but he certainly hadn’t expected to break through so fast. He was surprised when Squall took the initiative a moment later and kissed him, hard.

“Squall,” he breathed against rosy lips, then put his to better uses, taking Squall’s tongue into his mouth and letting it explore, caressing it softly with his own.

When they finally parted again, Irvine was slightly out of breath, but he had no time to worry about that. He could see that Squall was starting to turn bashful again. Winding his hand into the commander’s hair, he wouldn’t let him move away, their lips still only inches apart. His other arm snaked around a thin waist.

“Don’t run away,” he whispered, desperately.

“I’m not...” Squall’s eyes narrowed. “Sneaky bastard.”

Irvine grinned, knowing that Squall could feel it more than see it. "Orphan. Not bastard. As for being sneaky, well, I am a sniper.”

Conceding, Squall let his forehead rest against Irvine’s. “What do you want from me?” he asked quietly.

“What do you want?” Irvine returned, trailing a finger down the line of Squall’s spine.

Squall’s eyes fell closed, and Irvine suddenly felt a moment of fear. What if the commander rejected him? But then, icy blue stared back at him again.

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to find out.” Squall’s cheeks flamed a little brighter, and his voice faltered just briefly.

It was more than Irvine had hoped for. Frankly, he’d been expecting to be killed before his lips ever parted from that first kiss.

“Good,” he said slowly. “Squall…”

“That was an invitation to help me, you know.”

Irvine blinked. “Who are you and what have you done with Leonhart?” he asked, but before Squall could answer or try to pull away yet again, he accepted the invitation, and fastened his lips over the commander’s pulse point. He freed his hands to undo the thick jacket and first layer separating him from Squall’s body.

Slowly, hesitantly, hands came up to entangle in his long hair, and Irvine felt like he could laugh. This was Squall, all but free of inhibitions. He fastened his teeth over an earlobe, nibbling it softly, and then suckling at it, delighted with wringing a gasp from normally tight lips.

“Irvine,” Squall breathed, baring his neck as Irvine made his way down again, now working on stripping off the last layer before the undershirt that would lead him to creamy skin.

Having reached his goal, Irvine’s fingers slipped beneath the last light resistance of material, gliding over supple skin marred by a myriad of varied scars, which reminded him what a fierce warrior Squall was. He skimmed his fingers over slightly erect buds, drawing another gasp, and a soft moan to add to his conquest.

“I like that,” whispered Squall, his back arched, growing arousal pressing into Irvine’s stomach.

Impatiently, Irvine pulled off the shirt, taking in the little white marks all over Squall’s torso. He felt obliged to play connect the wounds, running his tongue over a few choice scars, before fastening his lips over one dusky nipple.

Squall’s hands tightened in his hair, then released and tightened again. He rocked softly, rubbing his erection against Irvine’s abdomen.

That insistent pressure got the best of him, and Irvine reluctantly pulled his lips from Squall’s chest, then pushed the commander off his lap, only breaking the contact between them for long enough to pin the commander beneath him and kiss him hard.

He ground his own hardness against Squall’s once, and then crawled down the lithe body. Long, frustrating moments were wasted on trying in vain to unclasp stubborn uniform pants. Finally, he realized he’d been attempting to pull instead of push and then slid them down Squall’s thighs. Task accomplished, Irvine looked up to see Squall watching him, looking slightly dazed.

“Irvine,” he whispered again, leaning up on his elbows.

Grinning, Irvine tugged down Squall’s briefs, and then drifted his fingers over the commander’s smooth thighs. The taunting caress skimmed up the crease between thigh and pelvis before tapering off. Then, he dropped little butterfly kisses up the same trail, but this time, he dropped one on the swollen tip of Squall’s cock.

The catch in Squall’s breath was audible, and addictive. Irvine wanted to cause a reaction ten times louder. He had no idea what he was doing, and he’d never intended to go this far, but hell, if he wanted Squall to relax, then what better way was there?

A little uncertainly, he swiped a long lick up the underside of Squall’s erection, and then circled his tongue around the tip. The commander’s eyes squeezed tightly closed, and he flattened his hands against the ground.

“Irvine,” he groaned in a strained voice. “You don’t have to...”

In answer, Irvine fastened his lips over the head of Squall’s shaft, sucking gently. He pulled away briefly to speak. “I want to,” he breathed.

*

It felt good. It felt very good. Hot breath, wet lips, rough tongue… Shit. Now, it felt mind blowing.

Squall groaned, trying very hard not to thrust into Irvine’s mouth. It was amazing. He’d never dreamed that anything could feel like this.

Looking down his body, he could see Irvine’s hands digging into his thighs, the Galbadian’s hair framing his face as he bobbed over Squall’s cock. The sight may very well have killed him.

“Eyahh!” Throwing his head back, Squall arched off of the ground as he came, hard. He thudded back down, the slight sting complementing the pleasant tingle still buzzing through his lower regions.

He sighed, feeling like a big lump of human jelly. “That was amazing,” he whispered, voice a little hoarse from his scream.

“Good.” Irvine crawled up beside him, pulling Squall into his arms.

Though parts of his mind were still objecting to his present lack of severity and control, the rest of Squall just couldn’t be bothered to argue. He didn’t want to. He liked kissing Irvine, being held in warm arms, and…other related things. Right now, he had only one thought on his mind.

Before Irvine even noticed it, Squall’s hand had crept beneath his clothes and curled around his erection, stroking slowly. The action elicited a surprised gurgle, and then Irvine’s eyes fell closed, his breathing quickened, and he buried his face in Squall’s hair.

He moaned. “That's good.”

Squall almost chuckled; knowing that he was reducing the smart-assed womanizer to clipped, single syllable affirmations of pleasure was rather satisfying. He paused, pressing his index finger against the tip and rocking it in tiny circles. It was something he did to himself on occasion.

“Like that, do you?” he asked, receiving Irvine’s answer in an emphatic nod.

“Stop teasing!” Irvine whined, rocking his hips desperately.

At that, Squall did chuckle, and then took mercy. He finished Irvine off in several harsh, quick strokes, proof of his effort shooting over his hand.

Curious, he brought his knuckles to his mouth and licked at one of them, then sucked it clean, knowing full well that Irvine was watching through lidded eyes. The Galbadian took his hand and licked off each of the other fingers. He then leaned in for a long, languid kiss, each sharing a new flavor with the other.

When they finally pulled away, Squall smirked slightly. “I…” He began to speak, but realized he really had nothing to say.

“What?” Irvine took his hand, winding their fingers together.

Squall looked down at their entwined fingers. “I knew you were mostly being playful with the girls, not seriously trying to win them over, but… I never thoughtー”

“Neither did I.” Irvine laughed softly, the uplifting sound causing Squall's heart to float a little. “Then again, I never expected to meet you…again.”

There was a long silence, during which they both just lay there, listening to the other’s breathing.

“Come back to my room?” Irvine asked after a while, when both began to feel the cold night air settle over them. “Or I’ll come to yours,” he whispered. “I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

Squall considered for a moment, wondering what on Earth he’d gotten himself into. Then he concluded thatーfor the time being, at leastーhe didn’t regret anything that had happened so far, or anything he thought might.

He nodded. “Your room. I don’t trust Quistis or Selphie not to turn up uninvited with some demand or other.”

Irvine’s snort rang in his ears as he bent to pick up his discarded clothes, pulling them on half-heartedly. "You're not that special. They'rd just as likely to come and bug me. More, in fact. They know I can't say no to a woman batting her lashes."

“Irvine, I...” Squall was already committed to an afterthought, so he put that inflammatory statement aside for now. “Thank you.”

“Like I said...” The Galbadian’s arms wrapped around Squall’s waist and he buried his lips in dark hair. “I’m tired of being alone, and I know you are too. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”

Turning in Irvine’s embrace, Squall contemplated the thought of kissing him, but settled for a simple hug instead. “Thank you,” he said again. Already, he felt his burden lighten, a lump rising in his throat as Irvine squeezed him back tightly. “I…” He had to find a way to put into words what he was feeling. “I’m glad you came to find me. You’re right. I am tired of being alone, even… Even if being alone is all I know.”

Irvine’s lips brushed lightly against Squall’s ear, the gesture somehow seeming more intimate than anything they’d shared so far. “Then we can be lonely together.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a yawn! Was there really a time I wrote sweet oneshots between only two characters with no kinks or twists whatsoever? My, oh my. Time for a little redemption.

Squall wasn’t hiding. He was just trying to find some place quiet to think. That was all, really. He was just trying to find somewhere to be alone and contemplateーwell, brood.

He was entitled to it, after all. His life had effectively turned upside down in one night.

That was also why he was searching. His usual hidi...thinking place...was no longer secret. Irvine stumbling upon it was what had caused his need to hi...brood.

Of course, it hadn’t been all bad. In fact, at the time, it had been wonderful. For the first time since he was a child, Squall had let go of his worries and allowed himself to enjoy the comfort provided by another person.

Yet worries always come back, and Squall had been forced to face the fact that Irvine was his subordinate. Such relationship were expressly forbidden, and for good reason. Squall had to be responsible and break things off, even if he didn’t want to.

Still, he found himself at the quad, wondering if he could get under the stage. He didn’t know what to say to Irvine, or even if he could say anything when the time came, so he was putting it off by avoiding the sniper. What he wasn't doing...was hiding.

*

“Squall? What are you doing hiding in here? I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” sighed Irvine, closing the classroom door behind him.

“Shit,” Squall muttered, and Irvine was sure he wasn’t supposed to have heard it. “It just seemed quiet.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up this morning?” Irvine asked, wandering toward where Squall sat, atop his old desk with the terminal at his back.

“You looked peaceful,” Squall replied, avoiding Irvine’s eyes.

“And you look upset,” Irvine muttered. “This is about last night, isn’t it?” he asked, leaning against the empty desk right in front of Squall.

“I… Yes.”

“You’re having second thoughts.”

No answer.

“Squall... If you’re really feeling uncomfortable or upset by what happened, then I’ll understand and do everything I can to make it up to youーah!” He held up a finger to stop Squall from speaking. “But if this is a relapse into responsibility issues then I refuse to leave you alone.”

“Dammit, Irvine! I have a job to do! All you ever have to do is flirt with any woman in sight and watch things get done for you, while I have to shoulder the responsibility for the whole Garden! This isn’t a game!”

“I never said it was,” Irvine breathed, moving forward so that he could be between Squall’s legs with another step.

Those legs closed. “Then stop trying to distract me from what I have to do!”

“I’m not trying to distract you,” Irvine muttered. “Commander.”

“Then what are you trying to do? Because I don’t see the difference,” Squall snapped, leaning back away from him.

Irvine compensated, leaning over Squall and placing one hand on either side of him, each wedged against a computer.

“Tight fit, but I think I could make it work,” he said with a smirk. “But seriously, I’m not trying to make things harder for you. I like you, and after last night, I think I can safely claim that you like me, so why do you have to make this so complicated?”

“Because I’m scared, you bast... Orph... Prick,” Squall snarled. “I don’t know what I’m doing. That's bad enough, and now you’re throwing me further off track.”

Keeping up the glare, Squall bared his teeth, but then he seemed to realize what he’d just said and hurriedly looked away.

Growling, Irvine forced Squall’s legs apart, moved between them, and grabbed Squall around the waist, pulling him closer so that their hips almost touched. “The only thing throwing you off is your own fear. I don’t have to be in your way, Squall. I could be beside you.” He lifted his hand to tenderly brush through that soft, thick brown hair. “Can’t you give me that chance? Last night, you saidー”

“Nothing I said last night matters. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I wasn’t speaking with my head at the helm. I’m sorry, butー”

“No, you weren’t. You were speaking with your heart,” Irvine snapped. “Look at me, Squall. Look right into my eyes, and tell me you want to end this.”

Reluctantly, Squall faced him. He stared for a long moment, silent, his face a mask. Then his eyes dropped and he leaned forward until his head was against Irvine’s chest. “I don’t want to, but I have to.”

“Who says?” Irvine cried. “You run this place now, so who’s giving you orders? You can do whatever the hell you want, and you deserve to.”

“That's the problem! I can! If I order you to do something degrading or demeaning, you'l l probably do it, just because I'm your commander! It's immoral for there to be anything between us that could serve to manipulate... That's not even the worst of it. What's worse is that... I don’t. I don’t deserve anything. I’m just an orphan good for nothing but fighting,” Squall replied bitterly.

“I know something you’re good for,” Irvine whispered, “But you’d probably hit me if I mentioned it.”

“Is that all you think about?” Squall asked incredulously, leaning back to look up into Irvine’s eyes.

“Why? Don’t you?” Irvine replied, going for perplexed and surprised.

“No, Iー” Suddenly, Squall burst out with a bark of laughter, showing distinct progress in Irvine’s plan.

“Oh, really?” Irvine asked slyly, sliding his hands up Squall’s thighs.

“Not here,” Squall squeaked. “Someone could walk in.”

Grinning, Irvine drew on a Blizzard spell, casting it on the door. “Not if it’s frozen shut.”

“Irvine, no,” Squall moaned. “I’m supposed to be breaking up with you. I don’t know how you turned this around, but I wo-nngggー” His protest was cut off as Irvine’s hand slipped into his pants at the same time as his lips closed over Squall’s.

As he rubbed back and forth over Squall’s groin, slowly bringing it to a rise, Irvine kissed him with every ounce of experience he had. He was going to win this, no matter what.

“You were saying?” he asked breathily, once he'd released Squall’s lips and curled his fingers around the awakened erection in his Commander’s pants.

“Damn you,” Squall muttered, his cheeks flushed and his eyes closed. “I forgot.” Then, like awakening butterflies, his criminally thick lashes fluttered open.

Pleasuring Squall with long, slow strokes, Irvine stared straight into ice blue eyes, forcing Squall to hold his gaze or admit defeat. Once he was sure Squall would not look away, he shifted his other hand until it rested on top of Squall’s.

“I won’t take no for an answer. If I was harming you, or scaring you in some way it would be another story, but you already said you don’t want to break up with me, so I know that’s not the case. I went out on a limb last night because I was worried about you, because I care about you. I didn’t expect…” Squall’s hand finally closed over Irvine’s, stilling his strokes, but Irvine didn’t let go, he just held still and continued speaking. “What happened was an accident, and one that I would incur all over again if given the chance to go back. The depth of my own feelings caught me by surprise, and frankly, I’m a little shocked at myself, but it’s too late now. I’ve already fallen for you in a way I’ve never felt about any girl. If you turn me away now because you can’t handle the pressure… I think it would hurt more than I’ll ever admit.”

“Irvine…” Squall studied Irvine’s eyes, his mind obviously searching for something to say to get him out of this.

“That asshole, Cid, is screwed up. There’s no reason for you to torture yourself like this, Squall. You’re human, too,” Irvine murmured, pleading.

“Please don’t,” Squall whispered.

Irvine finally abandoned Squall’s erection, and brought his hand up to caress the Commander’s hair. “I won’t get in your way, and no one will find out. Don’t cast me aside now that I’m questioning every assumption I ever made about myself.”

“I don’t understand this,” Squall finally sighed, looking at a point beyond Irvine’s shoulder. “I’ve avoided these feelings all my life. I know it’s abnormal, but I never cared about love, or even friendship. My goal has always been to become a SeeD, and I did...and suddenly I’m running Balamb Garden, and you would think that would be a good thing, but it’s not. I’m terrified. I should be concentrating on being a good leader, but since you approached me last night I haven’t been able to think of anything but you. That’s dangerous, Irvine. Can’t you understand that?”

“Of course I understand that, and forgive me for being biased, but I’m rather happy to find that you’re thinking of me,” Irvine muttered grumpily. “Cid has a wife, you know. You think he doesn’t spend most of his time thinking of Edea? No, it's not different. Not at all. If you concentrate on Garden for every minute of every day, you’re going to drive yourself nuts. It’s okay to think about other things. Let me help you. Let me take your mind off your troubles every now and again. Let me be there for you and support you, and fight beside you.” Irvine held Squall’s shoulders, his abdomen pressing against Squall’s hardness in his enthusiasm. “Of course you’re thinking about me excessively after what happened last night, but that’ll wear off. If you break up with me now you’ll just be thinking about that instead, and I knowー”

“Okay! Okay, I’m persuaded!” Squall hissed.

Irvine suddenly noticed his shallow breathing. Realization hit him, and he slowly grinning, deliberately rocking into Squall and causing the commander to gasp.

“I’ll…try,” Squall conceded. “For now, but...if I can’t concentrate on Garden…”

“Fine,” Irvine agreed hastily.

Before Squall could take it back, he rushed into a clumsy, harsh kiss, that both of them sighed into none-the-less. Squall was tense, but Irvine took it as a good sign that he was actually kissing and not trying to talk himself out of a relationship.

Intending to keep it that way, the sniper’s hands drifted down Squall’s body, but were intercepted as Squall broke the kiss. His breathing was heavy and labored, and his pupils dilated rather prettily.

“Not here,” Squall panted. “If… If we’re going to do this, it has to be careful. I have all the responsibility, but none of the authority. I can’t fight off an inquisition.”

“Fine. If cramming ourselves into a broom cupboard is what it takes to keep you, then fine. Let’s just go somewhere quick,” Irvine huffed.

“Your room,” Squall suggested.

Irvine shook his head. “I can’t make it there like this. God, I don’t think I can even walk straight.”

Squall glanced down, noticing the straining bulge in Irvine’s pants and rethinking.

“Cid’s office?” he suggested. “I have the key. I can lock the door.”

“Good plan.” Irvine backed up and held out a hand to help Squall down from the table.

*

They made it to the elevator without any encounters. Several people walked out, and the two men waited until they passed before rushing into the elevator and riding it up to the third floor.

Checking for anyone perhaps waiting to speak to him, Squall dragged Irvine into the office and locked the door. Then, he sighed. Why hadn’t he thought of hidi...brooding there in the first place? Then he wouldn’t be in this predicament. Oh well.

Before he’d even pulled the key out of the lock, Irvine’s hands were on him, followed by lips. He leaned back into the sniper’s embrace, tilting his head to the side so Irvine could kiss more of his neck. One hand slid up beneath his shirt, the other down into his pants, teasingly skirting his arousal.

“You’re addictive,” Irvine breathed into his ear.

“You’re going to get me fired,” Squall sighed in resignation, stripping off his clothes.

Once he was naked, he turned and slipped off Irvine’s jacket, followed by shirt and pants, and last but not least, the trademark cowboy hat. That, he placed on his own head, smirking at Irvine’s raised eyebrows.

*

“I like it,” the sniper muttered, placing one hand on top of the hat and sliding it back far enough to allow him access to Squall’s mouth. His other arm sliding about Squall’s waist, Irvine pulled the Commander closer so that their bodies were crushed together in mirror of their lips. He moaned as his bare and rock-hard erection rubbed against Squall’s, and an answering moan vibrated over his tongue and sent shivers down his body.

Squall’s hands found their way to his ass, holding him fast, fingers digging in as their groins ground together. Suddenly, Irvine found himself wondering whether they would really sleep together, and if so, how exactly that would be accomplished. They hadn't set foot on that particular bridge the previous night.

With women, it was simple. You knew where you stood. You were the penetrator and they the penetrated, and generally you were on top unless they preferred the active role, but with Squall…

It was easy to assume that Irvine would be on top. It wasn’t until he’d felt Squall’s hands on his ass that he considered the potential problem. What if Squall didn’t want to be taken? It was all well and good to say they wanted one another, and kiss, touch, and fondle, but there were some roads of intimacy that required a little thought.

If Squall was afraid of being hurt, wouldーcould Irvine offer to take the bottom? It couldn’t be all bad, otherwise men would never sleep together in the first place, but he’d never considered it before, and it was a scary new thought.

Well, Irvine had started this. He couldn’t run away now.

“Squall,” he breathed, pulling away from the kiss, his lips slightly swollen. “Do you want…?” He took a deep breath. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Squall blinked once, and then blushed rapidly a moment later. “I…”

“Sorry, that was really forward. I justー”

“I guess I kind of thought you would be on top,” Squall muttered.

“Oh, good. I mean…” Irvine groaned and hung his head for a moment before looking Squall in the eyes once more. “It’s up to you. I want you to be comfortable with this.”

Squall thought it over. “It’s okay,” he said after a short while. “I was thinking about it last night, and I… I want to try it.”

Irvine hoped his relief didn’t show too much. “In that case, do you have anything we could use to, uh, make it easier? Smoother?” He cleared his throat. "Slicker?"

*

Shaking his head, Squall took Irvine’s hand, blushing as he drew the fingers to his lips and began to suck on the index. He stared into Irvine’s eyes, feeling both silly and aroused at the same time.

He knew the action had quite an effect on Irvine. For one thing, the sniper had shut up. For another, his eyes were glued to the point where his fingers disappeared one by one into Squall’s mouth.

“W-wait,” he finally muttered.

His eyes flicked up to Squalls, and he seemed to be struck mute again. In an effort to communicate, he reached out with his other hand and tugged at Squall’s hips, bringing him closer. When his fingers were well and truly moistened, he cradled them to his chest and then kissed the commander hard, with all the passion that had built up from watching the show.

Squall wanted to moan, but he wasn’t sure how the sound would come out with Irvine’s tongue down his throat. Still, it was nice to know he was appreciatedーespecially considering what he was now planning to do.

As the kiss grew deeper and more heated second by second, Squall took Irvine’s hand and led it around to his backside, letting it go to find its own way as he slid his arms around Irvine’s waist.

The first hesitant touch forraying into his entrance was nothing much. He’d expected more, but the only unusual sensation was that of being touched where he had never ventured himself. As the tip of Irvine’s finger began to circle and try to ease its way in more effectively, Squall broke the kiss, tucking his face into the sniper’s shoulder. It was…pleasantーalmost soothing.

Irvine paused, slipping his free hand up into Squall’s hair and caressing it gently. He briefly dropped a kiss on Squall’s temple before his finger crooked, pressing very lightly against the resistant ring.

Squall forced himself to relax, recognizing the urge to tighten in anticipation. He shifted his arms, crossing them behind Irvine’s neck. The finger pushed a little deeper.

That one little finger was nothing, not painful in the least…but it was certainly unusual. Squall wasn’t sure whether he liked the feeling or not. It was just…strange.

It worked in and out, eventually followed by a second finger, and then a third. By then, he began to wonder how he would ever be able to take Irvine within him. It seemed almost impossible, considering the resistance Irvine's fingers struggled against, but he kept quiet. When Irvine asked if he was ready, he agreed, trusting that it would work out for them like any other pair of men.

He was a little scared, but he was sure Irvine would back off if he had doubts. Squall looked up into the sniper’s eyes.

“I never thought I would be doing this,” he said quietly.

“That makes two of us,” Irvine agreed with a little laugh. He sobered quickly. “Are you sureー?”

“I’m sure,” Squall interrupted, before he could change his mind.

He backed away, looking around and spotting the desk. It would be easier if they had a bed handy, but since that wasn’t an option…

Irvine caught Squall around the waist before he reached the desk. A gentle bite to his ear caused him to gasp.

“You have the sexiest ass I have ever laid eyes on,” the sniper whispered, rubbing his clothed erection against the flesh in question.

“I’ll bet you say that to all the girls,” Squall muttered.

Irvine’s hands wandered over Squall’s body, playing with his belly button, his nipples... “Only the ones with sexy asses,” he replied. “But really, yours is the best.”

“Glad to hear it,” Squall’s breathed. He shivered, but it wasn’t so much from Irvine’s touch as the sudden awareness of cool air assaulting his heated skin.

Kissing his neck, Irvine noticed it. “Hang on,” he whispered, his lips brushing Squall’s ear.

Squall turned to watch Irvine grab his discarded jacket, then obediently allowed the sniper to slip it back over his arms and settle it on his shoulders. Devious eyes studied his now partially clothed body.

“I like it,” Irvine pronounced. “I’m going to insist that this be your uniform from now on.”

“Pervert,” Squall hissed.

However, a moment later, he bent to lick one covered nipple while his hands crawled down to the hardness straining between tall thighs. He ran his tongue around the nipple, creating a wet ring upon which he blew warm breath, eliciting a shiver.

Irvine moaned, and herded Squall back against the desk, rocking into him. As their hard cock’s slid against one another, Squall braced himself, leaning back so that his face was turned up, his lips slightly parted. Irvine took the opportunity to kiss him again, the action quickly driving them both to the far reaches of their patience.

“I can’t wait any longer,” Irvine hissed, his lips prettily kiss-swollen.

Squall just nodded in agreement, unwilling to try and speak just then. Somehow, he managed to turn around despite Irvine’s proximity. He braced himself, taking a deep breath.

Irvine hesitated.

“Just…do it,” Squall pleaded, past the point of caring whether it hurt or not.

“Is that an order?” Irvine asked, his voice strained as he lined his straining cock up against Squall’s entrance.

Squall growled, thinking that it had better be answer enough because he wasn’t going to give Irvine a second chance if it didn’t happen now. Apparently, it was.

*

Irvine could hardly hold back as he slowly pressed into Squall’s body. It was so tight, so hot, so exquisite!

He managed to restrain himself from just driving in as his body seemed to want to do, but it was awfully difficult. Squall’s little grunt caused him to freeze momentarily, but then the commander slowly lifted his hand from the desk and entwined his fingers with Irvine’s, encouraging him.

Breathing deeply, Irvine pulled back and then pushed in slowly again, a little further. He repeated this action a couple of times, allowing Squall to get used to the feel of him, the sensation of being filled.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, his voice breaking just a touch.

Squall shook his head. “It’s okay. Don’t stop.”

“Squall…” Irvine wrapped one arm around his commander’s waist, kissing the knot at the back of Squall’s neck. “You’re… I love you.”

Squall was silent for almost too long, but then he finally spoke, and it made the scary silence worthwhile. “I think I love you, too. I… Just don’t leave me alone again.”

“Never. Never again,” Irvine agreed instantly.

*

Squall smiled, taking the brief respite to stretch out over the desk, pillowing his face in his arms. Irvine caressed his back beneath the jacket, his hand running all the way up and then back down to Squall’s ass before he gripped the commander’s hip, the other following suit.

“Don’t hold back,” Squall told him a little breathlessly as a small movement created a spark of pleasure at this new angle. “I’m more than fine.”

“Okay.”

That was all the warning Squall got before Irvine pulled out just a touch and then pushed himself all the way in, filling Squall’s ass completely. The movement brushed a spot that sent little shocks all throughout Squall’s body. He moaned loudly.

“Oh.” Irvine whimpered at the sound, his control slipping little by little as he began to drag his hips back and forth, fucking Squall slowly.

Hands curling into fists, Squall found all of his senses centered on that spot, wishing Irvine would move faster and harder. He began to rock back into the slow sweeps until Irvine got the message.

Slow sweeps became ragged thrusts, and squall’s whole body tensed in an effort not to topple the desk which was rocking with every pounding. “Irvine!” he moaned, the name muffled in his arms.

Irvine responded by slamming into him even harder, his fingers pressing into Squall’s hips hard enough to leave bruises. It now felt as if that one spot was being caressed constantly, the pleasure spreading throughout Squall’s ass, his stomach, his whole body. He barely noticed the constant hum leaking out of his throat, only stopping when he grit his teeth, his whole body becoming so tense it might snap. Then, Irvine grabbed his shoulder, pulling him to keep him from sliding across the desk as the harsh thrusts continued. The sniper’s other hand slid around to grip Squall’s throbbing erection.

He came almost instantly, staining the wooden desk with the seed of a SeeD while Irvine exploded inside of him. The sensation only cause another wave of ecstasy as Squall shuddered and moaned, still receiving the slowing thrusts as Irvine rode out his orgasm.

*

Irvine's knees buckled, and he collapsed over Squall only a moment before he would have crumpled to the floor. He’d never felt like that before. No woman had ever caused him to lose his composure. Was it because Squall was a guy? Or was it just because he was with Squall? Either way, he knew he would make good on his promise. He would never leave Squall alone again, even if the commander pushed him away, day after day, after day.

“I love you,” he said again, barely able to speak.

Squall was unresponsive. Only Irvine's weight pinning him to the desk kept him from sliding to the floor. Finding a little burst of strength, Irvine gathered Squall in his arms for long enough to arrange them both on the floor. Then, he curled up against his tired lover, falling asleep with his head tucked neatly into Squall’s shoulder. It felt like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folks!


End file.
